Women and men are very different. What puts you in the mood is totally different than what puts her in the mood. It seems like men are almost always in the mood. But when it comes to getting the wife into bed, that is a whole different ballgame. No matter how long you have been married, it seems like you still have no idea what she wants, right? In the beginning, it was easy because everything was new and exciting. But now that you have been together for a while, you have no idea how to seduce your wife.
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Attraction Is The Key
You may think it should be easy to get sparks flying with your wife. After all, she married you, and she loves you. Why should you have to work so hard to get your wife into bed? But seduction is not really about love or being married. Seducing a woman is about attraction. According to experts, women are attractedto certain things. Here are some of the most common turn-ons in most women.
Put The Kids To Bed
If your idea on how to seduce your wife is putting the kids to bed and asking her to get naked, you are doing it wrong. After all this time, you ought to know at least a little about what your wife likes. Think about it. What did your wife enjoy the last time you two got romantic? Of course, you do not want to do the same thing every time because that gets boring. But you can at least get some ideas of how to get your beautiful wife into bed by thinking about it.
Make Her Laugh
Women do not havea button you can press that automatically put them in the mood. Women love it when you romance them. Spend some time telling her how beautiful she is and how much she still turns you on. Bring her flowers. Ask her about her day. Make her laugh. There are many ways to bring back intimacy with your wife. Women love it when you offer to do something for her that she doesn’t like to do. Like vacuum or put the kids to bed.
Write Her A Love Note
Seducing your spouse may be as easy as writing her a love note or poem. Just stick a small note that says, “I love you,” in her purse or under her cell phone. With marriage today, we do not have enough time to do things like that. Everything is trending towards texting or social media chats. A hand-written note is more personal because it takes more effort; she will appreciate that. Don’t stop there, though. Maybe you can write a longer note about all the things you love about her and how much you appreciate all that she does.
Please don’t stop telling her why she is great. Make your comments personal and true. She wants to hear other compliments like how intelligent she is and how proud you are to marry her. Again, be authentic and sincere. What is she really good at? Does she have a hobby she loves? Please pay attention to what she does and compliment her on how well she does it. Paying attention is the key point in this paragraph. It’s time to start paying attention to her again.
Take Her Out To Dinner
What does your wife love to do that she hardly ever gets to do? Get a mani-pedi? Go to the movies? Go out for dinner instead of cooking dinner? Or maybe she loves it when you rub her feet after work or massage her shoulders. Don’t just do it because you want it to turn sexual, do it because you care about her. She wants to know that you are doing it because you love her and not just get her into bed. Seducing your wife could be as simple as having a nice meal and seeing a movie. This also makes the chore of making dinner off both of you, so you have more time and energy to enjoy each other in the bedroom.
Remember when you two first got together? What did you do for fun back then? When you were so worried about impressing her and making her want you. Think about what you did back then that actually worked. Were you charming and funny? Did you dress better? Maybe you used to wear cologne and style your hair. If you stopped doing all of that over the years (or during the COVID quarantine), you might need to dab on a bit of Old Spice and get a haircut. Put on some nice jeans and a nice t-shirt. She will be impressed.
Women Are Smart
You may think you are brilliant when it comes to cars, computers, or whatever else you know about. But when it comes to women, most men are a little more insecure. Women like to feel challenged, and she wants to know that you value how smart she is. Women tend to need some mental and emotional stimulation. Ask her opinion on something you know she loves to talk about. Or talk to her about a problem at work that you want her help with. You may be surprised what she comes up with. When you truly listen to her ideas and opinions – that makes her feel special.
Try Something New
You may need to try something new in the bedroom. Remember, this is about her needs, not yours, so be careful what you propose. When you are in a sexually intimate situation, remember to take care of her. Positive outcomes from one situation help to lead into the next encounter. Maybe she has always wanted to have sex in the backyard or the pool. Or you could try some new sexual positions. It may just be that she is bored and needs a new trick to get her back in the mood. Talk about it. She may be able to tell you herself how to seduce her.
Find Out What She Is Attracted To
Of course,she was attracted to you when you got together. You probably would not have lasted this long if she wasn’t. But time has gone by, and maybe you do not look the same as you used to. Have you put on a few pounds? Stopped grooming your beard? No? Maybe you look exactly like you did when you first met. But as women get older, their tastes sometimes change. Watch how she looks at other men. Does she seem to appreciate some facial hair but not a beard? That may be a way to catch her eye.
More Than Just Looks
However, it is not only about looks with women. Intelligence can be a major turn-on for women. Show her some new things you have learned or start a conversation about something you are really good at. Posture is another thing. Once we get married, we seem to let ourselves get too relaxed. Are you slouching in your chair right now? Women can see that as low self-esteem or lack of interest in what is going on around them. Sit up straight, hold your head up, and be confident. Another thing women like is someone fun and happy. If you seem to be going through life with no passion, that can be a turn-off.
What Not To Do
You should never do many things when trying to bring back the spark with your wife. So, what are some important things that you should not do? Here are some of our tips:
Do not run into the kitchen naked and tell her you want sex. In fact, don’t run into any room naked for any reason.Never compare her to other women. This should be common sense, but you never know. Women do not like to be compared to anyone. Especially not your exes.Don’t just start groping her. Most women prefer it when you take things slow and easy.Do not try to initiate sex when you know she is not in the mood. If she is tired or has a headache, wait until some other time.Don’t use cheesy lines from television or movies. Like “did it hurt when you fell from Heaven” or “there is something wrong with my eyes because I cannot take them off you.” This may be good for making her laugh, though, so it could work in that way.Never tell her she owes it to you because she is your wife. That will not only turn her off, but it will also probably start a big fight.Don’t be afraid to talk about it.Do not get mad if she says no.
If you are having trouble with your relationship, whether it is about sex, money, trust, or any other relationship issue, there are people you can talk to who can help. A relationship counselor can be great for both of you. At positiveeast.org, we have over a thousand licensed counselors and therapists who can help with any issues you may be having. And you can do it online. So, what are you waiting for?
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do I get my wife to be attracted to me again?
If you notice that the spark has faded in your relationship and your wife seems less attracted to you, do not fear. This phenomenon happens in many relationships as time goes on, simply because we get used to our surroundings and become less exciting.
A great first step is to analyze your situation. It is essential to determine the larger issues causing your wife to become less attracted to you (or seem less attracted to you).
Distance in a relationship could be due to a lack of intimacy (whether emotional or physical), frequent disagreements, being too busy with other aspects of life, among other things.
Addressing these obstacles together is often key to making your wife or spouse happy. She may not have all the answers herself, but communicating that something is amiss together is critical.
If you find that she is less attracted to you because there is a lack of intimacy, try seducing your wife in a way that she finds exciting. If frequent spats are causing the lack of attraction, try talking to a relationship counselor that can help you work together to find compromise and communication strategies.
Sometimes, simple changes can make a big difference. Be sure to make time to be together if you find that that is lacking in your relationship. No matter what, remember that open communication and patience are wonderful tools to have.
Why is my wife not interested in me sexually?
Often, spouses have trouble maintaining sexual interest in each other as the years go on. It is very typical to experience a decrease in libido for many different reasons.
Also, many people can lose interest in a monogamous partner sexually even if they still feel romantically interested. However, maintaining a sexual connection with your spouse is very important to many couples, and there are ways to reignite the spark if it has diminished.
Often, to help reignite the spark, couples need to switch something up to make things feel new and exciting again. Depending on the root cause of the diminished sexual attraction, this can include seducing your wife or incorporating something exciting in the bedroom routine, working on yourself outside of your marriage, or trying something new to make her feel emotionally supported.
What to do when your wife is no longer attracted to you?
As a relationship goes on, it is unfortunately somewhat common for couples to feel less attracted to each other. The nature of day-to-day life can easily make us forget why we appreciate others, and people also grow and change with time.
However, it is possible to bring back the excitement and attraction for one another. If your wife is seemingly no longer attracted to you, she may miss out on the excitement present at the beginning of your relationship.
Try seducing your wife with something new in the bedroom, an extra romantic evening, or a memorable romantic getaway. In addition, it is crucial to work on yourself as much as your relationship. Remind her why she was attracted to you by focusing on your hobbies, self-care, and the things that make you, you.
How do you tell if my wife is not attracted to me?
If you get the sense that your wife is no longer attracted to you, it can be heartbreaking. Here are several signs that may show she is not as attracted to you anymore:
She seems to be annoyed with everything you do.She no longer seems interested in sex.She doesn’t want to take the time to communicate with you.She doesn’t initiate anything.
However, before jumping to any conclusions, it is important to have a conversation about your emotions with each other. For many couples, this can be challenging, but talking alongside a therapist or another mental health professional can help.
Your therapist can also offer ways to help you recreate the spark in your relationship through seducing your wife, making her feel special, and addressing her needs.
What are the signs of an unhappy marriage?
Sometimes our relationships can feel rocky or like they are not meeting our needs. The signs of an unhappy marriage can include:
Lack of intimacyLack of communicationConstant bickering or fightsAvoidance of issues or each other in generalEmotional unavailability from one or both partners
Though these signs can arise in unhappy marriages, it does not mean the marriage is doomed to fail. If you and your spouse want to try to make things work, seeing a relationship counselor, therapist, or another mental health professional may be an excellent choice for you.